Who will my girlfriend marry next?

Here I am at my table at The Big Gay Wedding Expo yesterday.  I have picked the winner of the free wedding planning services and will announce it tomorrow after I call and let them know.  In other news, my partner, Julie Novak, just got ordained as a ceremonial minister!  She is marrying her first couple on Sunday.  She is made for the job!  Can't wait!

Enter for a chance to win

Sunday, September 25th at

Terrapin Catering at Dinsmore
5371 Albany Post Road (Route 9)
Staatsburg, NY  12580

Noon-5pm

Enter for a chance to win

Wedding Planning Services from

Free Day of Package

or

50% off Complete Package

WINNER’S CHOICE!

Happy Equinox

Jackson was asked recently if there was a downside to growing up with same-sex parents.  The only thing he could think of was, "Seasonal costume changes."  Happy fall equinox!

Business Hope

Julie and I went to the celebration of the 1st year anniversary of Business Hope last night.  I was recognized for the strides and accomplishments of Starling Productions.  They have helped us considerably with the TMI Project (www.tmiproject.org) I was able to announce the launch of Weddings Unveiled and it was very well-received.  Exciting!

Business Hope provides great support for women in The Hudson Valley looking to start new businesses.  For more information, go to:

http://hopesfund.org/programs/business-hope/

Walkway to Equality

Just met with a bride-to-be last night who is getting married on Walkway-Over-the-Hudson.  The couple chose a public location because it was important to them to celebrate their love and promote visibility at the same time.  I had such a great time talking details with her.  In terms of planning concerns, she said "One thing I wanted to know as I prepared were things like, where can I be comfortable trying on wedding dressing in boxer shorts?  These are the kinds of things I wanted to know."  Her answer for any of you with a similar concern is David's Bridal in Middletown - she said they were amazing to work with and she ended up inviting the woman who helped her with her dress to the wedding!  Good to know!

On the Straight and Narrow

I am reading Wedding Planning & Management, Consultancy for Diverse Clients, by Maggie Daniels and Carrie Loveless.  It is not your average wedding planning book.  It is full of historical and cultural research, well written and full of great business strategy.  What troubles me is that in a book geared toward “diverse clients”, out of 491 pages there are only a couple of paragraphs about same sex couples.  After giving a painfully objective overview of the varying opinions of same-sex marriage, it concludes with:

Same-sex commitment ceremonies, whether legal or symbolic, are increasingly taking place all over the world.  As a wedding consultant, you will need to determine if this is a niche market you would like to pursue.  Most wedding-related vendors are not in the business of turning away clients, and same-sex ceremonies and receptions tend to be as extravagant and planning intensive as those of heterosexual couples.  However, if this is not within your comfort zone, you should become familiar with wedding consultants in your area who regularly work with same-sex couples so that you can make referrals as necessary.

Really?  I don’t think this is too cool, personally.  First of all, there is a blatant assumption that everyone reading this book is straight.  And then, thanks for permission to discriminate!  Imagine if this were written about interracial couples…

Interracial commitment ceremonies, whether legal or symbolic, are increasingly taking place all over the world.  As a wedding consultant, you will need to determine if this is a niche market you would like to pursue.  Most wedding-related vendors are not in the business of turning away clients, and interracial ceremonies and receptions tend to be as extravagant and planning intensive as those of white couples.  However, if this is not within your comfort zone, you should become familiar with wedding consultants in your area who regularly work with interracial couples so that you can make referrals as necessary.

It was written in 2007.  Sheesh – come on people.  Get with the program!

Weddings Unveiled has been asked if we will work with straight couples and the answer is yes.  In fact, I am meeting the bride-to-be of a heterosexual couple this Wednesday.  But I will conclude here with what I have summed up based on my research.

Heterosexual commitment ceremonies, whether legal or symbolic, are increasingly taking place all over the world.  As a wedding consultant, Weddings Unveiled will need to determine if this is a niche market we would like to pursue.  Most wedding-related vendors are not in the business of turning away clients, and opposite-sex ceremonies and receptions tend to be as extravagant and planning intensive as those of same-sex couples.  However, if this is not within our comfort zone, we will become familiar with wedding consultants in your area who regularly work with straights and will make referrals as necessary.

High on Life

This is from our date tonight at The Dorsky at SUNY New Paltz. 

Can I Be a Witness?

Here is a little background that led me to Weddings Unveiled….

Personally I have more history dating men then women.  When dating men, I was not the kind of woman who spent much time fantasizing about my wedding day. Though I loved them, I couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life with any of the guys I dated.  Sorry guys.  But when Julie and I started dating we knew right away that our relationship had the potential to be the one.  I found myself thinking about getting married more than ever before.  Freaked her out a couple times, actually. 

I finally found a great partner for me on so many levels.  She is kind, hysterically funny (I am sharing a link here to her latest performance to prove it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dHCqqn2G8E), commited to herself and to me, employed, stable, more fun than anyone I’ve ever met. Not much more I can ask for.  Her nickname for a while was Jackpot.  And yet, I could not commit to her fully.  Not because I did not want to but because it was against the law. 

The implications of not being able to marry her are vast.  The blatant message that what we are doing is so wrong, that it should be illegal, like stealing or murder, seeps into the backdrop of our culture.  In turn whether we want it to or not, it seeps into our own minds and regardless of our intellectual capacity or emotional security we experience internalized homophobia on some level.  In addition, the part of weddings that I always love, is the gathering of a community to witness and agree to support the couple in love.  The couple gets to be seen and their love celebrated.  And by not allowing same sex couples this opportunity, it ensures limited visibility to our love and our relationships.  Even if we come out to the world, the world only lets us come out so far. 

So, a very short time after it became legal to marry in New York, I knew I wanted to plan weddings for same sex couples.  I never thought of being a wedding planner before this.  This shift in New York State has created a shift in my career path.  I am so excited to enter this field at this particular moment.  Though it has been a long time coming, it is here right now (at least in New York anyway) and I am thrilled to create a life for myself where I get to witness joyful, moving and much anticipated moments in history.

Wait One Minute

Just a second there, eBlogger, before we get started let's just get one thing straight.  I, my friend, am a Leo.  NOT a Cancer.